Macoy Dubs On Love And Sex: ‘We Make Sure We’re Safe’

Comedian and content creator Macoy Dubs has found love online and has been going steady with his partner for fours years now.

In an interview on One News’ “Long Conversation: Private Convos with Doc Rica” Cruz on May 18, said he and his partner met through an alter-ego account on Twitter.

According to Macoy, his partner was a fan of his skits on social media. Their first interaction came after Macoy reached out to his now-partner upon discovering they were both set for a Bangkok trip.

While Macoy’s trip was canceled due to urgent work requirements, they eventually saw each other. It turned out they were living in neighboring condominiums. Upon meeting up for dinner, Macoy said he and his partner instantly clicked, despite Macoy being an introvert.

Their first meet culminated in a movie date. A 25-year-old at the time, Macoy said the whole

date was unexpected, as he was still heartbroken from a failed fling.

“So we dated for three months (before becoming official). Dinner and all that, until it kept on progressing,” he told Cruz, a psychologist, sex and relationship therapist and a faculty member of the Department of Psychology at the Ateneo de Manila University.

Born Mark Averilla, Macoy rose to prominence for comedy skits and Tagalog-dubbed videos that started in 2017. In 2020, he gained extra fame for his “Aunt Julie” persona, derived from Filipina actress Jolina Magdangal and was portrayed as a progressive Filipina aunt from the high society.

While Aunt Julie has since been retired, Macoy continues to produce skits on his social media pages. Macoy has also become a television  host and actor.

Safe sex

Being in a relationship, Macoy admitted that he and his partner are intimate but they make sure they are safe during sexual intercourse.

He said they agreed on sexual positions and the use of condoms, lubricants and even sex toys whenever they would sleep together.

“In same-sex relationships, gays have a concept of ‘top’ and ‘bottom’. There is also the ‘versa’ and 'side’,” Macoy said. Tops are givers, while bottoms are receivers in the queer community.

Macoy added that versas can give or receive, while sides do not engage in penetration, and only go up to oral sex.

Macoy and his partner’s roles were set early into dating, he said. The comedian recalled it was a matter of feel and intuition considering their past experiences.

“(My partner) has not tried to be a bottom nor he wants to. But me, I have tried both top and bottom, so to make it work, I became our bottom,” he said.

While some couples are open to alternating roles, he and host Cruz noted there are couples with the same preferences. Due to varying preferences, Macoy stressed it is essential to tackle this issue at some point in the relationship.

When asked by Cruz about more personal advice, Macoy revealed his partner preferred him to use a sex toy in order to better prepare himself for penetration along with “water-based lubricants.”

Both Macoy and Cruz consider lubricants as “holy grail of sex” because they aid in penetration especially in anal sex.

Macoy stressed he and his partner still prefer to use protection whenever they get intimate. “My partner still prefers to use a condom, and even me…although we’re exclusive, we don’t like doing bare (penetration). He personally prefers (wearing) condoms more…Of course I like that for him, to ensure we’ll still be safe,” Macoy, also a safe sex advocate, said.

Macoy earlier said his safe sex advocacy started around 2015, when he became a LoveYourself PH volunteer for communications. LoveYourself PH is an organization that provides sex education for the youth and males who have sex with males (MSM).

He said this continued “before the pandemic” when he joined actress and writer Hershey Neri’s AwraSafely, a “campaign for sex-positive Filipinos.

According to Macoy, his safe sex advocacy was prompted by his frustration over intimacy as a  gay high school student who could not come out in the open yet.

Doesn’t have to be perfect

Despite being together for quite some time now, Macoy said there are times that he and his partner fail to satisfy each other.

“I can feel it, that my partner is not satisfied. We cuddle instead…that’s normal right?” Macoy said.

Cruz explained that not all encounters have to be “mind-blowing.” She said off days are inevitable in sexual activities.

“If you want to talk statistics, 70 percent of the time, you will be mediocre in bed. Ten percent, you will be bad, while 20 percent, you will be great,” Cruz said.

“It’s tiring if you’ll force yourself to be great in bed,” Cruz added. “You also want to think of yourself and your partner, sometimes you guys get tired too.”

Macoy agreed, his partner having office work. He bared that sometimes, they would exert only up to  “50 percent” effort just so they could finish.

Cruz stressed that this is normal, as long as a couple got a “great” encounter to remember. She said it is important to hold on to this, as it gives the couple something to look forward to.

“You come back to it (remembering the great encounter) and you understand the possibility of having it again so it’s something you look forward to. That’s completely fine,” Cruz said.

Macoy advised couples to always “communicate” with each other to make the relationship work, especially after an intercourse.

“What I can impart is…this is what me and my partner practice…I always ask him…’Are you satisfied?’ Sometimes he would say yes, sometimes he would admit it was alright, or it’s not our best night,” Macoy said.

“And it’s actually fine to ask. If you don’t ask, things will become bland. Then you also start to think, ‘Oh, maybe he does not love me anymore,’” he added.