Single, 30, And Happy: These 5 Women See No Need To Find A Lifetime Partner To Complete Them

Society has certain expectations of women as they reach a certain age, among them, marriage. By 30, if you are single, you are assumed to be planning to get married if not already starting a family. The pressure to settle down becomes even more urgent as your parents and well-meaning relatives ask you, “Kailan ka mag-aasawa?” every chance they get. But here is a truth every single thirtysomething knows: Family life surely has its merits, but not everyone is made for it.

Five happily single ladies in their 30s share why they lead unattached lives to inspire you to live up to your own choices.

“Make yourself your own inspiration.”

At 30 years old, Mary Jude Castilla, a registered nurse in the United Kingdom, is totally enjoying her singlehood, working on her career growth, and seeking to discover other potentials she didn’t see in herself before.

“I might have subconsciously chosen to be single [as I began to] realize that I am very much capable of providing happiness to myself. Now, I feel so fulfilled being able to surpass the expectations I have for myself [while] yearning for more improvement as well,” she shares.

Before the lockdown, Jude enjoyed traveling and eating out in restaurants with friends or even just by herself. “The most enjoyable part of being single is doing the things I love without other people’s validation. I now have the courage to decide for the things that I know would genuinely give me joy. It’s really fulfilling to own your life choices and focus on what you want for yourself,” she says.

After two failed romances in the past -- one a young love when she was in college, and the other lasting for more than four years -- entering a new relationship has become a fading option for her.

“I have slowly forgotten the [idea that] I need someone else to inspire me to do things,” Jude says.

“I don’t mind if the road will be difficult as long as I take on the journey I have chosen for myself. No one else is responsible for my happiness but myself.”

“If you’re not happy being single, you won’t be happy being committed.”

Katherine Pascual, 32, broke off her long-distance relationship almost three years ago. Now, she keeps herself busy with family, work and her ministry. “As a Christian, the most enjoyable part of being single is the freedom to seek, experience and serve God more. Sa sarili, [gusto kong] mahanap ko talaga yung identity and purpose in life ko,” she says.

Her desire to share her faith remains strong despite the sneers she gets about being single at her age. “One time nasabihan pa ako na siguro daw masama ang ugali ko kaya wala pa rin akong asawa hanggang ngayon. Minsan naman ay sasabihan kang choosy or mataas ang standards, kaya’t sana [daw] ibaba ko naman,” Katherine shares.

She admits that it used to bother her what people thought, but not anymore.

“Kapag hindi ka masaya sa sarili mo, hindi ka rin masa-satisfy sa kahit kanino o kahit anong bagay. Life isn’t about finding yourself; it is about discovering who God created you to be,” she added.

“Further your capabilities and be a strong and independent person.”

Sarah Elizabeth Nieto, an architect from Bulacan, is a month away from reaching the big 3-0.

Despite a number of casual relationships in the past, none of them worked well enough for her to consider settling down.

Sarah says that when she was young, the idealist in her wanted to get married between the age of 25 and 28, but now, she realizes, “[This age] is [actually] the best season to further one’s capabilities. So, enter a relationship [only] when you are ready,” says Sarah, regardless of age. “Things like these should be dealt [with] carefully and seriously.”

While most of her batchmates are either engaged or starting a family, Sarah is pursuing her Master of Architecture degree with a major in Urban Design at the University of the Philippines. She is also actively serving in church. “I do art crafts, calligraphy, and painting. [On the side] I work as the creative editor and marketing lead of my family’s food business.”

What she likes about being single at the age of 30 is that she’s able to explore freely and take her time in doing what she does. “My desire is to reach out to [the] youth, the young adults, and lead them closer to Jesus. My goal is to have stability in the financial, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of life,” she adds.

Her advice to singletons like her is to enjoy being single. “It is a blessing with a purpose. Instead of searching for ‘the one’, be ‘the one’ you’re looking for, not for the sake of others but for yourself.”

“Explore yourself and the world around you.”

Jinelle Joy Baitan, 31, has been single since she was 25. Her last relationship didn’t work out because of distance, so she just focused on her work as a bank teller and indulged in occasional travels.

“The most enjoyable part of being single is having a free spirit. I can do whatever I want to do, and I can make decisions on my own,” she says.

Jinelle’s love for traveling has brought her to places around the country and even abroad. Her favorites so far are Siargao and Japan but her goal when the pandemic is over is to “go to Bali, Indonesia to practice yoga and meditation for inner peace.”

Starting her own family is not her top priority at the moment because she wants to make investments first before she settles down. She also believes, “One should enjoy every moment of being single because it’s impossible to bring back time once you have your own family.”

“Listen to your calling.”

Maricris Canuel, a private school teacher, is happy being single at the age of 35.

“In my [last] relationship 9 years ago, I really longed for independence. That’s when I started to feel that being in a relationship is not one of my goals.”

Maricris eventually realized that her goal is to do charity work as a volunteer in different orphanages. It has been five years since she started serving in their parish, and her spiritual life has grown deeper since as her desire to be of service to others increased.

“I told my sister that if I am still single by the age of 40, I will quit my job and work as a volunteer in any orphanage in our town. My heart feels full whenever I do these activities,” Maricris added.

Because of her family’s full support regarding her decision to stay single, she has become more inspired to accomplish her plans while living her life as a happily single woman.

This article originally appeared on OneLife.PH.