‘Sandwich Generation’: Time To Break Cycle Of Children Supporting Their Parents

The cycle wherein children shoulder the financial responsibilities of their parents must stop especially when they already have their own families, motivational speaker and author Jayson Lo said on Monday, Jan. 17.  

In an interview with “Agenda” on One News, Lo said these children are part of the “sandwich generation” – a phrase coined by social workers Dorothy Miller and Elaine Brody in 1981. They are adults “sandwiched” between caring for their own families and their parents.  

“Sumisira sa atin ang tinatawag na ‘sandwich generation’ wherein responsibilidad ng mga anak to support their parents. And of course nangyayari naman iyan, kailangan din iyan kaya lang 'yung kultura na kapag ganun nagiging cycle siya (The so-called ‘sandwich generation’ wherein it’s the responsibility of the children to support their parents is damaging to us. Of course it happens, that is also needed but that culture is somehow already becoming a cycle),” Lo said. 

He added it becomes an obligation instead of voluntary to support the parents, which also leads to a cycle of poverty.  

“We need to break things like that, behavioral finance,” Lo noted. 

On his website, Lo explained supporting parents should be “volitional” and not an obligation.  

“It is the responsibility of the parents to provide for their children and not the other way around. This is the biblical approach,” Lo said, citing Proverbs 13:22 that states: “A good man leaves an inheritance for their children’s children.” 

Lo noted the “sandwich generation is the cycle of poverty that is happening in our nation.” 

“The children are expected to provide for their parents when they start making money, and when the children become parents, they repeat the cycle, thus a sandwich generation. A never-ending cycle of poverty. If you’re the ultimate breadwinner in the family, and your dependents include your parents, siblings, uncles, aunties, cousins, (et cetera), then there is no way you can be financially free,” he said. 

In his interview on Agenda, Lo said families could talk about this openly in order to break such cycle. 

He stressed educating people would likewise go a long way. “That’s why if you look at the poor, they would have more children because part of their mindset is that ‘my children are my investments.’ So it's a matter of educating them,” he said in a mix of English and Filipino. 

“Hindi lang naman sila nabigyan ng equal opportunities (They have not been given equal opportunities). So educating would really go a long way,” he added.  

From pain to honor  

Lo, who is the author of several books such as “YOUnique” in 2012 and “DEBTermined” released in 2014, also shared that his definition of money changed thanks to his late mother.  

The author said when his business went bankrupt years ago, he borrowed money from his mother. He admitted he never got to pay her back. 

“I borrowed money from my mom. Hindi ko siya nabayaran to the point that when she passed, on her deathbed she said ‘Anak, natatandaan mo ‘yung pera na hiniram mo sa akin?’ (Son, do you remember the money that I lent you?) Because my dad passed away and didn’t leave my mom that much,” he recalled his late mother as telling him. 

“Anak, hindi ko naman talaga ‘yan (papahiram) sa ’yo eh, ibibigay ko talaga ‘yan sa mga anak mo (Son, I wasn’t really going to lend that to you, I would give that to your children),” he added. “After two days, she passed. And all along for years my definition of money was actually ‘pain,’ and I had to walk through that burden.”  

“When I paid off my debts, this was around 2010, 2011, I changed my narrative from ‘pain’ to ‘honor’ – to honoring the memory of my mom. So now that’s something that I also do as I talk about money,” Lo stressed.  

Lo is an entrepreneur by heart, pioneering companies in various industries including direct selling, manufacturing, trading, and the restaurant business. He is also in the field of sales and marketing. 

Being in sales, Lo made his first million at the age of 22 but lost it all at the age of 30. His misfortune cost him millions and resulted in debts. But he was able to pay his debts and rebound after two years.