Parents Must Not Expect Children To Repay Debt Of Gratitude Through Financial Support – Expert

The highly held Filipino cultural trait of repaying debt of gratitude or “utang na loob” should not apply when it comes to finances, even among family members.

According to Cliff Constante, a financial expert and an associate unit manager at insurance company Pru Life UK, a good example is when parents expect their children to support them financially in their old age.

Constante stressed that parents must know the importance of saving up money so they would not rely on their children for survival in the future.

“‘Yung ‘utang na loob’…hindi siya valid for a parent. Ginusto mo magka-anak, tama? So responsibilidad mo na pag-aralin sila, pakainin sila, damitan sila (The ‘debt of gratitude’ is not valid for a parent. You wanted to have kids, right? So it’s your responsibility to send them to school, feed them and clothe them),” Constante told The Philippine STAR / OneNews.PH on Tuesday, June 7.

Constante said parents must set an example to their children when it comes to saving up, which should be done once they start working.

“As a parent, kailangan responsible ka sa sarili mo (you need to be responsible for yourself). Pwede maging two things ‘yan pag nag-retire ka (Retirement can be two things): longest holiday or longest nightmare,” he pointed out.

“Longest holiday, since may retirement funding ka, nakapag-ipon ka nung kabataan mo, ‘yung 60 to 80 years old, mapopondohan mo ‘yung sarili mo kasi may pera ka (since you have retirement funding, you have saved up during your youth, you can sustain yourself by the time you reach 60 until 80),” Constante explained, citing that a person’s life expectancy is usually up to 80 years old.

“Kung longest nightmare naman…hindi ka pa rin makapag-retire, kailangan mo pa rin mag-work kasi wala kang naipon para sustentuhan ‘yung 60 to 80 na (financial needs) mo. And then usually ‘pag ganun, walang ipon, ang maririnig mo sa mga kamag-anak mo is, ‘Sa inyo naman si lola, sa inyo naman si lolo.’ Mas masarap di ba kung ikaw ‘yung namimigay as a lolo, lola kaysa ikaw ‘yung pinagtutulakan kasi medyo mabigat, burden siya (It’s the ‘longest nightmare’ when you cannot retire yet, you still need to work because you failed to save up to sustain your financial needs by the time you 60 to 80 years old. Usually when that happens, what you will hear from your relatives is, ‘Take grandmother, grandfather with you.’ Isn’t it better for you to be the ones to give them gifts as grandfather or grandmother rather than being pushed around because you’re quite a heavy burden for them?),” Constante said.

The financial expert shared that his parents were the ones who inspired him to save up, and is grateful to them that they did not expect him to repay debt of gratitude.

“They’re living their life and nag-iipon pa rin sila ng tuloy-tuloy (and they are still saving up),” Constante noted.

But even if he is not obligated to support them financially, Constante admitted that he wants to voluntarily provide for them.

“They do not compel me but I want to provide for them because while it’s been their responsibility to send me to school, (it’s a way of showing my gratefulness to them),” he added. 

Being a financial advisor, Constante has been sharing tips on the importance of saving up in his social media accounts. In one post on Twitter back in January 2021, he shared some words of wisdom to both parents and children.

“Your parents are NOT your emergency fund…Your children are NOT your retirement fund,” Constante tweeted.

Another piece of advice Constante shared on his Facebook page drew reactions from netizens, earning 6,500 likes and reactions since it was first posted last January.

“Let’s all normalize talking about finances with our partners. [Huwag] puro relationship tapos walang financial goals. Hindi na uso (‘yung) ‘Makita lang kita, busog na ako (Don't always think about relationship goals without financial goals. The phrase ‘I already feel full whenever I see you’ is no longer the trend,” he said.

Rainy days

Constante advised the younger generation to read books to familiarize themselves with financial literacy, or even watch YouTube videos of fellow financial experts such as Chinkee Tan.

“Take your finances seriously, hindi porke’t nag-e-earn ka ng income today, gagastusin mo na lahat sa Shopee, gagastusin mo na lang pera mo for yourself. Pay your ‘future self’ first para if rainy days happen, may pera ka (just because you are earning an income doesn’t mean you have to spend it on Shopee, you’ll spend all of it for yourself. Pay your ‘future self’ first so if rainy days come, you have money),” he said, referring to the popular online shopping site.

He also advised parents to make the right decisions when it comes to handling finances.

“Ten years from now, your children may either be eating or starving, depende sa decisions na gagawin mo (depending on the decisions you are going to make) today as a parent. Ngayon ‘pag hindi ka nag-ipon (Now if you don't save up), when rainy days happen, damay mga anak mo (your children will also suffer). Kapag hindi ka nag-ipon, possibility pati ‘yung anak mo, dadalhin mo sa poverty (If you don't save up, it’s possible that you'll also drive your children to poverty),” Constante said.

“As a financial advisor, ayoko naman nangyayari 'yun kasi totoo naman ‘yung sinasabi ni [national hero Jose] Rizal – na ‘kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.’ Pero ‘yung parents ang dapat nag-ga-guide sa kanila (What Rizal said – that ‘the youth is the hope of the nation’ is true, but their parents are the one who should guide them),” he added.