A Breadwinner At 19: What It’s Like To Be Young And Your Family’s Sole Provider
So young, so many responsibilities.
One of the core values that Filipinos are known for is our close family ties. Aside from it being a way of life, this concept is further fostered in schools, and passed on to generations.
This traditional concept instills that because our families should always be our number one priority, we should support each other financially, mentally, and emotionally well into adulthood. While individuals in other cultures often move out and live on their own when they turn 18, Filipinos are known for maintaining close family relations for as long as we can.
Maybe it is because of this core value rooted in our culture that there are a number of young professionals who are the breadwinners in their families. We take pride in taking care of our (extended) family members, looking out for our loved ones, and providing their needs, sometimes even to the point where there’s nothing left for ourselves.
Indeed, being a breadwinner is not a walk in the park.
A “breadwinner” is defined as “the primary or sole income earner in a household. Breadwinners, by contributing the largest portion of household income, generally cover most household expenses and financially support their dependents,” says New York-based financial website Investopedia,
Being the breadwinner of your family means that a large chunk of the household’s monthly bills would fall on your shoulders. And while helping your family out is always noble, being the sole income earner can take a toll on you, too.
Your relationships outside your family will be affected.
Mitch Barrios, from Cavite, has been working since she was 19 years old. She became the breadwinner of her family when her father lost his job, and her mother came home for good after working as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW).
“I got my first job at 19. That time, both of my parents still had jobs kahit hindi masyadong malaki ang sweldo,” shares the 24-year-old. “I decided to work because I was on my 2nd year in college. I needed extra funds for school projects and dorm rent.”
Luckily, Mitch got accepted as a scholar at a state university, which waived her tuition fee in full. “Since hindi ko na kailangan magbayad ng tuition, ang tina-trabaho ko lang nu’n ay ‘yung allowance, rent, at project funds ko.”
Not long before Mitch’s college graduation, her father suffered a stroke and lost his job at a construction site. Her mom then decided to come home, but had a hard time finding a job in the Philippines.
“I continued working after my graduation. At one point I had four jobs at the same time,” she says. “Sa dami ng trabaho ko, wala akong oras gumawa ng ibang bagay.”
Mitch admits that finding romance is not a consideration at the moment, and neither is travelling with her friends. Her present family and financial situation just won’t allow these.
You seldom have enough time for yourself.
Because Mitch is currently balancing three jobs simultaneously, she barely gets enough free time for her hobbies and interests.
“I start my day at 7 AM and end it at around 10 to 11 PM,” she says. “I get to rest on weekends sometimes, but if there are urgent projects, then I work on those days too. Minsan na nga lang ako makapagpahinga, paano ko pa hahanapan ng time ‘yung hobbies ko?”
In an alternate universe, Mitch wishes to pursue her dream of becoming a doctor. With a Bachelor’s degree in Biology, she wanted to apply to medical school but was not able to because of financial constraints.
It makes you scared to think about the future.
Mitch struggles with living from paycheck to paycheck with a family of four being entirely dependent on her.
“Ang sabi sa ‘kin lagi ng mama ko, marami pa akong mararanasan at ma-a-achieve sa buhay,” she shares. “Pero paano ko naman gagawin ‘yun kung ngayon pa lang pagod na ako?”
She says that she feels anxious thinking about the future, because a lot depends on whether she would still have a job by then.
“I think what I envy about most people my age is that they have the luxury of time,” Mitch explains. “They have years to find themselves, to reach their dreams, they have fallbacks, and I don’t have any of those. As early as 19 I needed to grow up.”
Set boundaries
Though Mitch admits that she isn’t an expert on how to handle being a breadwinner, she suggests setting your own boundaries and putting yourself first in some aspects of your life.
“You have to know your breaking point and do everything you can to not cross that line,” she emphasizes. “Kailangan alam mo kung kelan too much na yung responsibilities mo. At s’yempre, ask for help. Kahit hindi financially, kahit magkaroon ka lang ng kaibigan na makikinig sa struggles mo, malaking tulong na ‘yun.”
This article originally appeared on OneLife.PH
